Admission

As hard as it is to admit it but it is so true.

I've been lying to my self. At least trying as I've failed big time.
I tried for the longest time to pretend that I neither care nor want, that I am strong, that I am not naive or childish, but the truth is:

I am a hopeless romantic

I believe in fairy tales

I dream of "happily ever afters"

and I am  desperately waiting for my soul mate

The only problem is that I see this as a weakness so I defend my heart against it. With only one exception I never let anybody in my heart. I am afraid of getting hurt again.
I always am. 


Update: (Note to myself) 
That's what reading romantic novels do to you!!